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Debbie Downer

In which I desperately cling to grudges

Ugh, it shames me to admit this, but I’m basically a professional-status grudge holder.

My friend Kel’s birthday was this weekend, and then only thing that mired the celebrations, was a happenstance run-in with an ex. I’m so notover it, in the sense that I am really still quite bitter over the demise of out relationship (in August, I might add — I know!). It’s still so awkward, and we both seem convinced that we can be friends despite all of it when that’s so obviously not the case.

He greeted me by punching me in the shoulder, because his new (well not really that new anymore, since I think they’ve been together since November) girlfriend was there. It’s really impossible for me to tell how she feels about me, because she’s relatively reserved around me, and extremely protective of him in my presence.

She seems to have warmed up to the idea of me, good news I suppose because we have a boatload of mutual friends, but I still find myself bristling when I endlessly replay our Friday night interactions in my head.

This is so not ideal, and a painful reminder of how completely not over last summer’s tryst I am. It’s something I can convince myself otherwise, until I’m forced to do the group hang thing, which is bound to be a more common occurence as the summer months approach, and our fondness for patios comes with it.

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About Nico

I'm not angry all the time, that's just how my face is.

Discussion

2 thoughts on “In which I desperately cling to grudges

  1. You know what girlie? It happens. I think a part of growing up is knowing which grudges to hold (such as ex’s, and people who have really fucked you over) and which grudges to try and let go of. I really believe that ex’s should always be part of the grudge list– just sucks you guys run in the same social circle!

    Posted by Heather | April 12, 2010, 11:31 am

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