Phases I Never Really Outgrew

I think you’re supposed to outgrow being a picky eater. I’m certain that I’ve read that somewhere, but I’ve always been resistant to change.

Stubborn is the one word that you’ll never see me using to describe myself on a job application, no matter how true it is. I don’t generally view my argumentative nature as a positive trait, but if pushed, I’ll just rebrand it as passion. Give me concrete statements or opinions, and it’s like pouring gasoline on a fire.

No, is one of my favourite words; it has been for a while. I suspect I was initially singled out as a picky eater based on my proclivity for uttering that glorious word. I think the list of foods that I hate is just as long as its counterpart. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, save for watermelon, I’m not allergic to any of it, I just don’t ever want to see it on my plate.

• watermelon/melon in general
• peanuts/peanut butter
• squash/pumpkin
• ketchup/tomato soup (I outgrew a tomato allergy, but ketchup is barely related)
• peas (I used to swallow them whole to avoid the taste, and to this day I will not eat them)
• previously frozen carrots (especially the crinkle cut ones – I’m gagging even thinking about it)
• steak (that comes from a cow)
• moist chicken (I prefer my chicken to be tinder dry. Actually this applies to most meats, except for burgers. Dry burgers are gross.)
• jam
• honey
• muffins (I can usually taste the eggs in them and it makes me gag)
• excessive use of sauces

Gagging seems to be a common theme.

I also have an incredibly weak gag reflex, as past boyfriends can certainly attest to. It is a mood killer. I’m at my surliest right after I puke. Even something as benign as brushing my teeth can cause violent chain reaction.

So I try to avoid it if at all possible, hence the banned foods list.