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Turning the volume down from eleven

Metric – Twilight Galaxy (Acoustic Snippet)

from Metric’s acoustic set at Avenue Theatre 04/21/09

Now on to the fun part where I reveal myself to be completely unhinged.

Uh, so I sort of have rage issues sometimes. I’m really bad at holding back sometimes, especially when it feels like someone has wasted my time. There’s really no excuse, but yeah.

So, I’m back on the pill now after being off it for almost a year. I stopped taking it because I was celibate for a while (not kidding) and then I also had this extended dry spell right after B and I broke up, and it became this daily reminder of exactly how little sex I was having, etc. It’s not really that interesting in the long run.

TriCyclen Lo is my new (old) jam, and I dn’t really remember it affecting me this way, especially with respect to mood swings, but I’m not the most pleasant person to be around right now. It really doesn’t take much to set me off (ask Jordan or Neil) and I sometimes just burst into tears. It’s really hard to maintain a veneer of sanity when someone leaving a comment on your blog inspires waterworks (sad, yet true story).

Tonight was a prime example of this uncontrollable rage springing up over something relatively benign. I got guestlisted for the Metric acoustic gig at the last minute and was planning on going alone, but had a change of heart and invited Jordan. It has been surprisingly good between us since I essentially broke up with him last week (my friends claim that we’re still technically together, but that’s neither here nor there).

We were supposed to head there together, but her got held up at work at we agreed to meet up in line. He kept texting me stupid things and I was getting pretty annoyed, especially with the chick in line front of me giving me the side eye the whole time.

I can’t remember what he said to set me off but I ended up responding with a “You know what? Just stay at work I don’t want to see you!” or something equally shrill and needlessly dramatic. A total Anna Karenina-inspired move because I was secretly hoping that it would just get his ass in gear and we’d be able to catch the show.

He called an texted me a few times at the show, but my ringer got turned off accidentally so I missed the calls. Long story short, when I finally got a hold of him, I didn’t exactly use the second chance to redeem myself. Instead, I chose to get a little mean, and divulged a number of things that I definitely shouldn’t have.

We’re on an indeterminate hiatus right now. I’m pretty sure he never wants to speak to me again though.



About Nico

I'm not angry all the time, that's just how my face is.



  1. Pingback: Topics about Last-words | Turning the volume down from eleven - April 22, 2009

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