It’s really hard for me to be completely truthful all of the time. There’ little lies here or there for the sake of keeping the peace and not everyone care to hear my opinions etc.
The police called for my roommate today. Or rather, they called my roommate looking for me.
It’s also really hard for me to lie completely unprepared. Give me enough time, and I can come up with really believable lies (at least in my mind) but put me on the spot, and watch the colour drain from my face as I confront you with the cold hard truth.
She relayed a message to me and I blindly punched the numbers into my phone. She asked me a couple of follow up questions and I answered them with surprising candor. There was really no point in withholding the truth any longer and I elaborated:
“Two summers ago”
“Like, someone hit you in the face?”
“No, um, sexually. I was sexually assaulted”
“What the hell? Where?”
“Outside [redacted]” (which is by mere stroke of coincidence less than 5 blocks from my apartment)
I don’t know what came over me, but she’s one of the only people that I’ve told, other than my ex. It’s not a secret because I’m ashamed or feel in any way responsible for what happened to me, I just don’t like talking about myself, I prefer to listen and observe.
There’s also never really a good time to be like, “So, speaking of rape…” without being a total Debbie Downer.
Even though this happened a year and a half ago, it has yet to make its way through the legal system. I’ve been subpoenaed and I’m scheduled to appear in court a couple days before my birthday.
The only thing I want this year is for this ordeal to be over and done with.