This has definitely been a big year for me. I’ve finally learned to let go of things that do me no good. I refuse to go down the drama route any longer and it feels really good.
The sad part is that, as a result, there are many friends that I simply cannot be friends with anymore. They’re focused on stagnating, whereas my mind is on moving ahead.
I’ve saved a lot more this year than I’d ever imagined possible, I’ve always been a pretty good saver but I re-evaluated where a lot of my money was going (shoes + booze, no surprises there) and I actually maxed out my RSP contributions on top of getting my HI Savings account rate bumped.
I started running and doing yoga two things that I never really imagined that I’d be enjoying. At my peak I was either running or going to yoga 6x per week. When I’m swamped with work, this isn’t necessarily the most realistic goal, nor is it when I’m on vacation, but if I stick to it most of the time, I figure I’m ok.
Now I can’t really picture a time when I didn’t work out feverishly, and I can’t quite understand my old reasons for not doing so for a two-year period during University.
There are definitely still things that I need to do to get my life in order family wise, the one relationship that I haven’t really worked on at all this year is the one with my mother. I still fee that we’ll never be able to be friends and I’m not ready to forgive and forget (it’s almost 9 years later, and it still feels like yesterday that she abandoned me in my time of need) and I honestly can’t even say that I’ll ever get over the rage that bubbles up whenever her name is mentioned or she makes some sort of misguided attempt to ingratiate herself into my life.
I think I need to take a trip home and work this out face to face, I just don’t have the energy for it right now but 2009 is going to be a year of tying up loose ends, and closure.
2008 was the year that I learned to roll with the punches, patience, gratitude for all that I have, and acceptance that sometimes it’s not all about you. These seem like really basic things, and to a certain extent they are, but how I came to teh conclusion that going through life so selfishly was just not how I wanted to live is a major part of who I am today.
I don’t regret a second of it, I never have, and probably never will.