I finally got around to syncing my old Hotmail account with my new phone. I only keep that email address around for the benefit of my mother, who is too lazy or too technologically inept to be trusted to change an email address bookmark.
She had previously sent me two emails that I failed to reply to in a timely manner. Which prompted a third. I don’t like replying to my mom’s emails because they are always:
a) stupid, she emails me about the most inane things all the time. ex. The sky is blue in Ottawa today, how about in Edmonton? xoxo MOM (she capitalises the ‘Mom’ part in case I wonder who this strange woman is that keeps emailing me with the same last name)
b) she emails me at really weird times. 5:18 AM today, yeah that’s 7:18 AM EST, but still. When the email goes right to my phone, it’s a tad inconvenient.
c) she is entirely incapable of writing an email that doesn’t include some sort of depressing factoid about someone having had a heart attack, being stricken with cancer, how stupid something is, or how out of touch she is with my life.
I dread the emails, and I put off replying until I sense that she’ll either fly out here to confront me about my lack of reply (“you know, I thought you were dead. This is a really busy time of year for me at work, so it’s good that you’re not, but maybe you could reply to my emails?”)
I scanned today’s email and quickly fired off a two sentence reply that corrected something that I’d previously told her at least 100 times, and ignored all the negative bullshit. I’ll get back to it when I want to induce suicidal ideation.