1. Your girlfriend’s no competition – I’m not a hussy, it’s a song lyric, but I think we’ve all been there
2. Ugh, is it Christmas already? Shoot me now
3. Sometimes I even have a hard time convincing myself
4. I’m in love with these boots but everyone is sold out of my size, why must I always come to the party so late?
5. I vote that all future staff meeting include sushi
6. Probably the only time you’ll ever hear me apologize and actually mean it, sadly
7. I think it’s hilarious that you think you’re a good driver
8. Still no internet
9. With the holidays, comes the anger – bring it on
10. I’m sorry that you’re trying to buy your kid’s love, but I don’t really care to be a part of that – p.s. They probably still hate you
11. 1 year, I think that’s my goal
12. I don’t really get why the elliptical hurts my knees worse than running, but that’s yet another reason to hate that machine
13. Resolutions are just for New Year’s
14. One yoga mat richer – is that weird, I kinda think that it’s weird
15. Perhaps I will buy some shiny pants to match
16. I don’t really care – I’m starting to wonder if that’s ok
17. I can’t really tell if it’s my intense desire to be different or a genuine distaste for you
18. I really am that much of a narcissist, thanks for asking
19. The fact that I wouldn’t give in to your demands doesn’t translate into ‘being rude’, you lying about it after the fact does…
I Spit Hot Fire (Quotables)
Do you think that K is naturally a redhead? I kinda think she is – I’ll tell you why later…
A barbecue on a boat!? Are you kidding?
What is this, like the official jam of hussies everywhere?
I look like I’m trying to seduce him! Um, but you sort of are…
Yeah I’d be mad, I wouldn’t let him know, but I’d probably throw a chair or something
That wasn’t the right bag, that one had lady stuff in it
You’d think that if today is the day you chose to come out of isolation that you’d at least slap on some makeup
Would you consider it funny or sad that you’ve slept with him but can”t spell his name?
It’s makeup, not blood. I thought it was a nice touch.