To switch it up here’s a story, about a boy that I met seven months ago, but only really noticed two months back. Apparently we’re hot for each other and it’s only a matter of when and not if we’ll hook up according to The Pansy.
Here’s her side of the story (unedited, for the most part) and a little editorial input from myself.
Well [TG], here is the story from the beginning from my point of view; maybe now you’ll understand why I think you wanted him from the beginning and STILL want him, despite your celibacy vow.
[W]ay back when we first met Mr. RR, it was March during the tradeshow week, full of PK (product knowledge) meetings and shitty parties. One night, we were upstairs at the temp shop for PK, RR was doing his thing with [The Rep] and we all thought that The Goth Girl had a thing for RR, as she spent about 20 minutes after the meeting discussing her passion for spoken word poetry. A week later, I noticed that you had been bugging her a little more than was necessary about this little non-event but I thought nothing of it – rather I joined in because it was a pleasant break from you constantly taunting me about The Gentle Giant. At the time I didn’t know that you thought RR was a total fucking babe or I probably would have put 2 and 2 together. [Ed. I actually didn’t think he was hot back then, he didn’t even register on the radar.]
Fast forward 6 months, it’s tradeshow time again. Time for another PK meeting with RR and The Rep. This time though no one really talked about the spoken word flirt fest thing before the meeting because everyone was busy staring and laughing at my expense. As soon as the meeting ended, you and RR were inseprable. You were bragging about your limited edition [redacted] shirts and “casually” throwing in little tidbits of your vast knowledge of the brand he reps for. This led to the two of you walking down the hall to the girls store so you could give him a ‘personal tour’. Half an hour later you guys returned laughing and giggling amongst yourselves and I started to notice a flirty tone to your voice that I’d never heard before. I have NEVER seen you flirt with a guy like this. [Ed. Fine, I’ll admit that I was flirting a little, but I stand by my assertion that he’s hot!]
The only guys I ever see you interact with are the boys from down the hall at work, none of whom are doable, so this little shift in your behavior was more than noticeable. After this, we all went our separate ways for the night and you and I left to go catch the bus. I started to joke about how you had been flirting with RR and you were like “What? I think he’s hot.” and then I’m pretty sure I asked if you’d do him and you said you would. I remember you had this weird smile on your face, very subtle, but it was there. It was kind of like what I would imagine the face I make when texting a boy I’m crushing on looks like. I could tell right then that you totally wanted to [hit it]. [Ed. I can’t remember exactly what I was thinking ,but it was probably along the lines of “I’m so effing tired, I really want to get to bed – by myself.]
Saturday finally rolled around. It was [the wrap up] party night, something we always get really excited about and then take a month planning our outfits thinking its going to be super fun, and it always ends up being shitty – this time was no different. I was getting ready and I called The Rep cause I really wanted to hang out with him that night and he told me and him and RR were skipping out on the party and going to a show at a bar that our boss owns. We made plans to meet up later after I left the party. I immediately called you because I figured you probably wanted to hang out with RR that night and invited you to join me in ditching the work party early to go out with the boys. At first you were hesitant but as soon as I mentioned that RR was coming you seemed stoked. We stayed at the work party for about an hour and it was even lamer than the last year so we left and took a cab downtown. As soon as we walked in all bets were off. [Ed. I don’t remember this conversation. I remember being pissed because I was waiting (by myself) for you guys for over an hour and I was sober! I was so angry that I almost missed out on the whole night before it began because I wanted to go home.]
We got into a conversation about age and I asked RR how old he thought I was. “Well I think you’re probably older than you look, so I’m going to guess about 3 years older than you look, 21?” he correctly guessed, then he said something about how he assumed you were the same age, and you replied “No, I’m 23” that was when his eyes lit up, like for some reason, the fact that you were older than he thought you were seemed to please him….it was awkward for me, I’m not gonna lie. I’m pretty sure the whole time at the first bar, you ONLY talked to RR, which made me feel really awkward cause SM was dancing up a storm with some friends he’d run into so I felt pretty third-wheelish. [Ed. Was it awkward for you because we standing in between you and the bar? All kidding aside, he was chatting me up I was just kinda standing there. I had a massive headache at this point]
Then we left the first bar and made our way to the second, this is where the night gets a little hazy for me because I drank a lot at the second bar but I don’t remember talking to you a lot. I’m not sure if this is because you were with RR or because I was busy molesting the pool players. All I know about what happened after this is what you filled me in on the next day. The next day at work, we all felt like shit. I was in a great mood (for unspecified reasons, perhaps a certain pool player had something to do with it?). At about 4 I think, you came running into [my work] to tell me that RR texted you..and you were STOKED. [Ed. I talked to you, but only to encourage you to drink more water. At this point my migraine was so bad that it made me puke. I felt fine hte next day because I had about two drinks all night]
You were trying to contain it but I could tell. Not much makes you really excited so when it happens, no matter how much you try to hide it, its obvious. It was cute, and you looked really happy. That night we had dinner. RR and SM were sitting on the other side of the restaurant….and he was texting you. [T]he only time someone texts you when they could easily just talk to you, is when they either 1)like you or 2) or are telling you a secret. Think about all the times me and T would text each other when we were in the same room…sooooo lame…and then he called you at 3 am, duh. [Ed. No comment]
Now we’re at present day and you’ve got your little celibacy vow. Here are the reasons I think that, despite your vow to not give it up, you still want to do him….
6. Apparently it’s a surprise that I actually wanted to get with RR – though I think I made it very clear, sorta
7. Oh well, there’s always next time isn’t there
Always next time, eh? Well, [TG], I’m pretty sure he’s going to be here in a few weeks so next time might be soon.
2) Today when we were talking about him you were talking about how you find him attractive and I believe your actual words were “What? I always admitted being attracted to him, I think he’s fucking hot!” Now just reading this it doesn’t really sound that important but it was the tone in which you said it. It was the tone of a woman who hasn’t gotten any in awhile and NEEDS to get fucked. I know this because I’ve spoken in that tone A LOT this year…and you always point it out so now I’m returning the favor.
3) Last time he was here, when we were at second, you had a migraine and you still wanted to fuck him. So the way I see it, migraine, celibacy vow = same shit…not gonna stop you…But I guess we’ll see, like I said, he’ll be here in a few weeks. [Ed. I seriously entertained the idea of hooking up for about two seconds, and then I barfed. Which is kind of a mood killer]