That pretty much sums up exactly how drunk we got on Friday night. It was a a spur of the moment thing, The Pansy was bored, The Bar Star was itching to go out on her last night of freedom, I was up for anything and we dragged The Bar Star’s roommate out for fun.
We definitely didn’t have a plan in mind, but we made our way over to The Pansy’s after work after making a quick stop at the liquor store. The Pansy wasn’t drinking fast enough so we started a gam of ‘Never Have I Ever’ that lasted just long enough for us to get sauced and for The Bar Star to get into a bit of a text message fight with her BF, who was out at the bar we were planning on going to with a coworker (female) even though he was supposed to be at home.
The Pansy tried to back out because she claimed she was too drunk to go out (um, man up) and we explained that that was precisely the point of the night – to get blindingly drunk. After a bit of banter back and forth (veiled threats of bodily harm) she agreed to come out (good choice tiger). We cabbed it there and TBS swore that she knew the girl leaning her head out of the cab on the way there. We got there pretty late but that just meant the party was in full-swing. We drank in the alley (never can be too primed) and made out way to the doors.
Scanning the crowd for familiar faces/a server so we could get our drink on we hit pay dirt by the back of the bar and ordered two pitchers although we really didn’t need any more. Fast forward two hours later and The Pansy has her head on the table (just resting I’ sure) and we’re peer-pressuring her to drink more (read: punching). We’re causing quite the scene but it gets out of hand pretty quickly.
These two nerdy-looking guys approached the table around last call and invited us back to their place to smoke some weed (pass) but we shot them down pretty quickly by giving them the third degree. The Roommate was the only one who expressed any interest so the kept chatting with her though she got all means girls on him when he tried to play coy.
The Roommate: What’s your name?
Random Nerdy Guy: Good looking, what’s yours?
The Roommate: Better looking than you
Surprisingly he stuck around for a bit more trying to win her favour and once again inviting us to hang at their place. I jokingly stated that we weren’t interested unless there was going to be coke present. He was taken aback and stammered something but we were laughing to hard to hear what it was that he said.
The lights flickered on and off signaling our impending departure and we called our boss to meet uppp with him but the signals got crossed and he was leaving as we were going. TBS made our cab driver drop her off at a park so that she could take care of business and we all swore to never reveal what happened at the park, while The Pansy protested that we were 5 minutes from our destination, and couldn’t she just hold it in (apparently not).
We bought donairs and went our separate ways, and I made my way home. I set my alarm on the walk home but I must have turned it off because I overslept the next morning, waking up at 9 am when I had to be at work by 9:30. Being late wasn’t an option because I had the keys, so I threw on clothes that were scattered around the room, threw my makeup/deodorant in my bag and put on a hat as I called atwo cabs (I couldn’t afford to be late, so better safe than sorry). I hop in the orange cab and tell the driver my destination (The Mall) to which he replies,
“Uh where is that exactly? I normally work on the south side…”
I’m on auto-pilot at this point and I mumble something vague about the street address.
Edmonton isn’t exactly a huge city (flashback to an argument about small-town mentality with this girl in the bathroom of the bar), so it’s a little confounding that he doesn’t know where the mall is. That’s like a NY cabbie not knowing where Times Square is.
I text my co-worker on the way there, with the sounds of the navigation system playing in the background. She’s taking a cab too, and we pull up at the mall minutes apart, though I stop to get Gatorade (the first of three bottle) before I open up.