On those rare occasions when I’m bored at work, I do one of two things: stand around and chat until I get bored then clean like a madwoman – or crack jokes. Yesterday, it was mostly column B. I just decided to push boundaries and see just how I could go without offending someone and it made the time pass a little quicker.
After our requisite explicit sex brodown and position primer
(“Just get on the bench and put your legs over your head!” “My body won’t bend that way…” “Yes it will, trust me”)
I was on fire. I guess it really started on Sunday (or was it Saturday) with my genius line
“Yeah, I love that shirt because it’s classy but it’s understated. I mean you could totally wear that to a lounge with nice [skinnies]”
and then AirQuote interjected
“…and nice dangly earrings and a belt to cinch [the shirt], oooh!” “So apparently she has the perfect outfit planned for you, she’ll draw you up some plans if you buy it… But as I was saying, you could wear it to a nice lounge one night but if you had to go to a funeral the next morning, you could totally get away with sporting it there too – it’s versatile, you know?”
A couple that was in the store at the same time laughed, the girl that the comment was directed at laughed but she thought it was funny too, I can jsut sense these things.
Then on Wednesday I tried to convince the male of a couple to try on clothes so he wouldn’t be so bored when shopping with his girlfriend.
School-age Tourist Girl: Do these shoes make me look emo?
Team Gingerbread: (deadpan) Emo kids don’t wear brown, so no
SATG’s Friends: (die laughing)