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The Daily Grind

The long and short of it

So I’m standing outside on my break having a smoke probably 200 ft from the doors when a valet from the hotel comes bounding over and tells me I can’t smoke there but that I have to smoke by the dank benches 50 feet away.

“You’ve got to be kidding me”

“No, I’m not” he replies tersely

“I don’t really see what the difference is” I reply

“Um, bylaws” he says smugly and points at the sign and points at a porter cleaning up some cigarette butts “besides he’s deaf and he has to clean them up”

“First, I’m not the cause of his deafness, so I don’t see how that statement is related to the discussion at hand…and I’ll throw my butt out in the ash can – which I always do anyways. Second, it’s obvious (motioning at the sheer quantity of cigarette butts in the vicinity) that tis is a popular smoking area and I don’t see you hassling any of the other smokers so I don’t really think I’m going to move”*

“I’m going to call mall security then”

“That’s fine. They’re on the other side of the mall so by the time they amble over here, I’ll be long gone. Their response time is less than stellar”

*I fully realize that I was being kind of pig-headed and a bit priggish but it was the principle of the matter.


About Nico

I'm not angry all the time, that's just how my face is.


5 thoughts on “The long and short of it

  1. Next time, just tell the Mr. Hall Monitor to fuck off. Don’t even be snarky with him.

    Posted by Cody | April 7, 2007, 4:29 pm
  2. There’s a hotel in your mall? I’ve seen hot shoes before & joked that I’d sleep with them, but…

    Posted by shirley | April 8, 2007, 1:44 pm
  3. shirley – yeah, it has theme rooms too, to distract from the fact that you spent your whole vacation in a mall. There’s also a skating rink, a waterpark a petting zoo, and a rollercoaster as well as an indoor skate park…

    Posted by team gingerbread | April 8, 2007, 8:00 pm
  4. I hate the smoke police,it’s becoming impossible to have a fag here in hood town..by the way my blog has moved to wordpress..Am tellin me mam.

    Posted by Barnze | April 10, 2007, 4:11 am
  5. Do you work in the Mall of America?! Smoking stinks. No offense, but since they banned it most everywhere in NYC, I can’t stand to smell cigarette smoke.

    Posted by S* | April 13, 2007, 9:33 am

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