On why my friend should take a break from her pseudo-fiance
Team Gingerbread: Yeah, I mean I think it’s time that you see what else is out there before you settle down you know, try new things, dip your toe in the pool – which is a metaphor for sex with Hawaiian Delight (our Hawaiian friend that she fancies)
The Goth Girl: Oh yeah, try new things? Coming from you. You’re even more of a stick in the mud than me
Team Gingerbread: Not true. I had Taco Time (picture Taco Bell that’s been sitting in a parking lot for a month) twice this week, and both times it was gross, but I went outside my comfort zone. Also, I dabbled sexually – I’ll tell you about that when we’re not at work but it was spicy
The Goth Girl: Really? Well I’m not going to ruin my life and break up with my boyfriend for a guy who’s not even single!
Team Gingerbread: Oh, he’s very single. We’ll put in a good word for you