1. I actually miss The Archaeologist, weird.
3. It’s official, I smell classy now thanks to Chanel
4. Breaking up is hard to do – and it’s even harder to find someone ‘to fill the void’ to quote The Archaeologist
5. Resolutions are for chumps
6. Sometimes beating around the bush is in order (as is beating a dead horse it seems)
7. A new MacBook! (too bad it belongs to The Pansy and not myself)
8. “I’m downloading Ugly Betty, jealous?” “Um, I have cable, jealous?”
9. Breakfast…I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet
10. “I guess once again I’m the one who hasn’t had sex in the longest time”
11. I was happy, for like a second. So standard.
12. Not pregnant, just sick, hence the throwing up (yay! I mean, I never actually thought I was preggers)
13. Apparently I look really cute when I’m so sick I can’t talk, which is nice because I feel like hot ass
14. I own a watch now, of course it’s been six years since I’ve worn a watch on a regular basis so I’m essentially a watch virgin – do I even know how to tell time anymore?
15. My whole body is sore -stupid illness
16. Dunzo, for reals this time, I swear!
17. My sleeping pills are making me crazy again, noooo! (not that they were really helping me anymore anyways)
18. Another staff meeting, what more could possibly be said?
19. Yeah, I still hate people in general, especially on Saturdays
20. A field trip to the Jamaican High Commission? Sign me up!
21. The Pansy made me sick again
22. AirQuote reads the blog, and is good at keeping secrets apparently
23. “I want the Foster 3 Limited’s or The Trifecta’s” “Could you maybe ask for something that came out this year?”
24. Burn! Illness makes me funnier
25. Fully flared? Not so much, now I’m just angry
26. Sweden really?
27. $400 US jeans? My credit card will hate me
28. Promise rings are lame
29. …so are relationships in general
30. I’m a guru, and I can actually apply my anthropology degree to real-life situations
I Spit Hot Fire (Quotes)
- “No, I’m exclusive. I exclusively date guys who are assholes! Try that on for size”
- “Really, you didn’t shower after, who are you? Did you cuddle too?”
- “Uh, no”
- “You’re such a liar, you totally did!”
- “It was passive cuddling. I didn’t really cuddle back. He did all the cuddling, I just didn’t put up a fight”
- “Ew! She’s engaged, really? That’s disgusting. I’m so mature”
- “But I want someone to put it in my ass!”
- “He’s not gay, he’s a hedonist – difference”
- “They’re denim, but tasteful. I love them in the same way that most people love their children”
Gingerbread muscle – probably the muscle formed in the arm from repeatedly lifting the cup to your mouth either that or it’s carpal tunnel syndrome from getting yourself off whilst watching a gingerbread house decoration contest (you know who you are)
Axe bombing – I’ve participated, yet never been the victim. I’s the act of poking a hole in a can of axe then launching it into an unsuspecting victim’s room (bonus points if they’re hooking up at the time)
sorority girls shoe pranks – well there’s always the option of lifting her shoes while she’s hooking up with a guy so her walk of shame is even more mortifying…
friends and cliques at work – I think we quote mean girls at work more than emulate it
pee alley – it happens, usually when I’m under the influence/doing a bar crawl
how long does a hangover last – um, until you start drinking again