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Gossip/Girl Talk, Quirks

Observations about our neighbours

The female neighbour doesn’t seem to have a job, unless you count bossing around your Peurto Rican houseboy and toking away in the backyard while your child plays under a camper van (true story). Her husband is also similarly lacking in a job, although maybe he travels for work who knows, because we rarely see him (I’m talking wouldn’t be able to pick him out of a line up).

They employ some sort of all night security team to guard their valuables, possibly due to their heightened paranoia from all the weed they smoke. I don’t even think they walk their own dogs (I think it’s just one dog now since the other appears to have either died, or is permanently confined to a kennel in the basement). There’s also the matter of the two campers that are alternatingly always parked in their driveway. Methinks perhaps its a mobile meth den.

The most interesting part of the story is of course that despite the fact that they have this garage with garage doors on both sides and ample room for two cars (they own at least three, plus their staff have two cars), they choose to park their two most expensive vehicles on the street. On any given night, either the Jag or the Escalade are parked on the street, not even under a street light either. Who parks a Jaguar S Type-R on the street?!? Do you want your car to be vandalized/broken into. You live next door to a sorority house that gets pranked a lot. On any given night there are drunk university students on the prowl. We got our driveway repaved and for about three weeks there were large chunks of concrete sitting at the end of our driveway within a stone’s throw from the parked Jag.

Maybe the reason they employ a security team is that the wife wouldn’t even be able to run after the culprits since she’s been pregnant for what seems like two years. She does have one child, although he hasn’t been around as of late either. Her child is kind of like Will from Days since he hasn’t aged in the 2+ years we’ve lived next door. I’m pretty sure it’s a boy, but this is just speculation here.

Long story short, we’re pretty sure our neighbours are drug smugglers or something of that nature.

conspiracy theorism is tiring work,


About Nico

I'm not angry all the time, that's just how my face is.


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