I haven’t had a good chat with my friend Katherine in so long so I decided to give her her valentine’s card a day early and catch up. Apparently we’ve both recently made vows to be a little more discerning when it comes to hooking up. Then we got to the subject of unwanted advances and she told me this hilarious story which ended in her being thrown onto her kitchen island and having some random guy trying to sit on her face and teabag her. The story would have been way funnier if it wasn’t borderline sexual assault.
I also forgot about a couple of quotes from the weekend.
Waffle: Bulimia is such a waste of time. You don’t even get thin; it’s such a useless disease!
Gingerbread: No, don’t let yourself get talked into sex outdoors. Sure it sounds like a good idea, but you’ll just end up with a pinecone up your ass. Is that what you want?
Hair Guy: Do you smoke? That’s too bad, wanna start?
Pancake: You talk the shit, you lay in it.