…shouldn’t trash their friends when they are (albeit unwittingly) in that very same situation themselves. [This is where a normal person would apologize, but I don’t believe in apologies so I digress]
So I’m bored out of my mind at work reading my latest guilty pleasure book (I actually just bought another one on Friday too) and this guy walks in acting all ‘too cool for school’; He’s one of those people that is so good looking that you catch yourself staring. He pays his cover ($7) with a twenty and is so busy trying to look cool that he almost forgets his change and then he leans in and asks how his hair looks ‘does it look funny cuz I was wearing a hat’ he asks. So close. I thought you were hot, and then you opened your mouth.
A short while later a woman comes in and I try to figure out where I know her from and she looks at me as if she should recognize me but says nothing. As she’s leaving to go into the bar she turns around and checks me out! I’m still totally mystified for about 5 seconds and then I remeber where I recognize her from. She was really (I’m talking could barely stand here) drunk at a concert in December when I was working, and while I was not really paying attention, she tried to kiss me. I avoided her attempt only to have her start sucking on my neck. It was like a slow-motion car wreck; you see it happening, but can’t do anything to avoid it. I was kind of creeped out (I’d never met this woman in my life after all) and simultaneously flattered (it’s kinda cool having someone dyke out on you [Ed. I’m not a homophobe, I love my gay boyfriend AJ. I’m using the word ‘dyke’ in the same way that black people use the n word. Wow, this is the first time I’ve used the race card on this blog!]) but I ultimately rebuffed her advances with a calm ‘I’m too suburban for that!’
In the end I’m not too sure if she was actually checking me out or trying to figure out how she knew me, but since I’m recovering from a somewhat self-induced neck ‘injury’ (read: mad hickeys, classy!) and my mouth is full of humble pie, I just attempted to avoid the akward chat that would be the inevitable result of her satiating her curiousity.
The party at our house was pretty enjoyable, although I’m pretty sure that’s the last time I’ll be partaking in any activities of that nature until way after reading week.
The sex toy party was also pretty gold, and I’ve got a couple more quotes to share
Overheard at the Sex Toy Party (Part II)
Janelle (sex toy lady): How was it?
Onion: It was sexciting!
Gingerbread: Yeah, I can tell. You face is flushed
Pancake (on the taste of gold dust): Yeah, I’m going to chow down in my bed.
Waffle: I can’t wait to go home and blog my ass off!
When keepin’ it real goes wrong (KR): I could totally lick that
Janelle: Yeah, well, don’t!
KR: Bring out the dildos
We all decided to pick alliterative names as an icebreaker. The names are as follows, most don’t actually involve a back story
Just Shut Up and Cum Jess
Maniac in the Sack Megan
Just Fuck Me Up Against the Wall Jamie
Kama Sutra Kinga
Hot and Hairless
Chlamydia is Not a Pretty Flower Courtney
we were so busy coming up with outrageous names that by the time we got to our own names, we were fresh out of ideas. A good time was had by all.
I’m so not tired it’s ridiculous, although I just took some muscle relaxants so I might pass out while reading my trashy novel.