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Quotables/Foot in Mouth Disease, Sorority Drama

The Bait ‘n’ Switch

Ugh…Lazy Sunday. i still have a lingering headache from lack of sleep and the skirt shopping marathon of 2006.

Pancake, Waffle, Latte, TL and Props have been perfecting the dance for Alpha Gam man tomorrow night for the past three weeks, and today was the living room dress rehearsal. Props actually looks scarily attractive in drag!

For some reason, everyone decided to try on Ashley’s see-through dress.

Being the funny people that we are, there were some choice lines from this weekend too:

Props: Crash, isn’t that the movie about surfing?

Pancake: No, that’s Blue Crush

Props: I don’t know, what do I look like to you?

Pancake: A guy in DRAG!

Latte (to Props): You need to get lower, my wrist really hurts at this angle

Gingerbread: Tom Green went to my high school, and he brought Monica Lewinski there when she went to Ottawa to promote her new handbag line.

Props: She has a handbag line?

Latte: Well I don’t know if she still has one, but she did

Props: What’s it called; I’m Tubby?!?
(this one is only funny b/c it’s so not funny if that makes any sense)

Whatevs, it’s been a long weekend I guess.

On the first day rush for the fall semester, we went out for drinks with the KSigs at our new favourite watering hole. I was chatting with Props, and he had mentioned to me that he had been trying to get into a supposedly slutty* sorority girl’s (SSSG**) pants, but that she had been trying to set him up with her friend. He asked me what he should do, and then IT happened.

What is IT? The Bait ‘n’ Switch; when a girl sends her attractive friend to chat up a guy, and then when he’s not paying attention, the less attractive friend (LAF) sits down in her place, so the guy is stuck talking to her, at least for a little while.

So I’m chatting with Props, and I see it happening. I lean in and tell him what’s going on, and he’s wondering what his next move should be. Well, I tell him, for starters, don’t turn around. Pretend like we’re having a really engaging conversation, and you can’t tear your eyes off of me. Dosn’t work, because LAF is sidling up to him in such a way that feigning ignorance isn’t going to work. He’s stuck talking with her, and eventually he excuses himself, and we have a mini-conference outside.

I tell him that the only way to get out of this situation, is to sacrifice his friend Buffy, who has also been trying to make the moves on SSSG. I said the the way to get her into bed is to tell her that you like her friend, but Buffy is really hot for her and you would never go after someone your friend was into. Thus winning bonus points for you for seemingly being honourable and warming her up to you. If all goes according to plan, SSSG goes and tells LAF that Buffy is super into her and SSSG talks to Props for the rest of the night and he ends up taking her home.

*I personaly don’t think that she’s a slut, nor is it my place to say so

**It should also be noted that at the time SSSG had a boyfriend of over a year, and when Props asked her what the deal with that was she replied ‘I have a boyfriend, but…’


About Nico

I'm not angry all the time, that's just how my face is.


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